A Guide To Respectful Debate

Jessa Ward '26. Photo Credit: Jenna Herbruckk

The Trade of Debate

Whether it’s cancel culture, the block button or a point to the door, we all fear that moment in a conversation where you can tell the person across from you is absolutely over it. 

While I cannot make any promises that your friend will hear you out the next time you hate their favorite food or that the family dinner table will be a great place to be when politics comes up at Thanksgiving dinner, I can offer a few tricks to help you with the art of debate. 

Centering Civil Discussion

To assist me in this endeavor, I interviewed Jessa Ward ‘26, who shared how she goes into charged conversations. While Ward doesn’t shy away from tough discussions, she doesn’t think of herself as “super duper politically charged.” “I hold my own beliefs and hold strong in those, but I'm not gonna be one [of those people] going out and shouting at people,” said Ward. “I'm just like: This is me. This is where I stand. I know where you stand. We can have [a] civil discussion.” Rooting discussion in a place of understanding is what Ward champions. 

Things We Don’t Talk About at Dinner

Ward took a moment to point to Stetson’s forum for students who are looking to engage in challenging and potentially sensitive topics, “Things We Don’t Talk About at Dinner.” She contrasted the framework these interactive sessions create for civil discussion with the ‘takedowns’ we see in viral videos. “I'm not entirely sure how I feel about those viral videos that go around - one's at a mic, one's at a table and they're just going at it,” said Ward. “I think that [those videos] can be a seed and maybe food for thought…, [but] what you say does not matter as much as the way you say it.”

When we feel a heat behind our ears or a flurry of thoughts rushing to our heads, taking a breath before continuing might be the most vital lifeline one can grab onto if the aim is to keep the conversation going. Ward shared that she centers herself by remembering, “If I'm going at this person in such a pointed, directed way – even though [I may be operating under the presumption] that they disagree with me – I don't believe that's me honoring them, honoring this person in front of me.” She also insists on looking at those who may disagree with her beliefs “as a whole person and not just whatever label you want to put on them.”

Actually, You Were Right All Along

Seeing the whole person keeps Ward from forgetting that respecting the other person also requires seeing why they hold a belief to begin with. “I would think a respectful discussion will probably hit home harder, or it would be more impactful than yelling at people,” said Ward. “I don't believe you can argue someone into seeing your side of things on any issue. I don't think I've ever had any type of debate or argument where, just in the middle, they're like, ‘Oh yeah, actually, I agree with you now.’ You know, that's just not the way that that works.”

Solutions: Compassion, Respect, a Tub of Ice Cream 

 “I hope people know me as someone who loves the Lord and that my love for the Lord overflows into loving His people,” said Ward. “Regardless of whether or not they believe what I believe when it comes to faith, when it comes to politics, [or] when it comes to the type of ice cream that we like. It’s just compassion and respect.” Distinct from religion, we are all able to bring these two values to the table, or any situation, where words are tools of education. This does not require perfection from us, but only asks us to rectify when our words do not center empathetic education first.

Love Your Neighbor as Yourself 

“The Bible, it says that ‘the greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind and all your strength’ and then ‘to love your neighbor as yourself,’” said Ward.  “And so, that means everybody. Of course, there's the people that believe the way that I do, but then the people [who] don't, then you just love them anyway and I think that gentle and lowly approach is much more influential than pride or arguing… Do I do a perfect job of that? Absolutely not. I'm still a person, [a] very flawed human being.” Even if imperfectly, we can all have [a] civil discussion.